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If The Most Interesting Man In The World Were An Animal Advocate

You know the most interesting man in the world is retiring, right? Yes, Mr. Jonathan Goldsmith is passing the baton to another interesting individual while he’s off exploring Mars.

When he runs out of Dos Equis and the ladies want to come back down to earth, we’d like to think Mr. Goldsmith will consider taking up a new hobby; say one speaking up for animals. The most interesting man in the world has a voice that is recognizable anywhere. His voice is needed to educate the new Millennials about animal abuse, spaying and neutering and responsible pet ownership. There’s many beer drinkers all over the world who would gladly listen to him versus a Peta commercial or one ran by the Humane Society of the United States. Although both organizations are fabulous at what they do, they might not speak to the same audience he can influence and reach.

The Most Interesting Man In The World An Animal Advocate?

If Mr. Goldsmith were to become an animal advocate, here’s 17 quotes we took the liberty of modifying to reflect his new stance on animal advocacy…

#1

Original: He gave his father “the talk”

Ours: He doesn’t need to give his pets “the talk” because he gets them spayed and neutered to help decrease the euthanasia rate

#2

Original: His passport requires no photograph

Ours: His passport is covered in dog slobber and has teeth marks on the cover

#3

Original: When he drives a car off the lot, its price increases in value

Ours: When he drives a car off the lot, he’s headed to the nearest animal shelter to adopt a new dog or cat

#4

Original: Once a rattlesnake bit him, after 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake finally died

Ours: Once a rattlesnake bit him, after 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake finally died despite giving it medication recommended by his veterinarian, he buried it respectfully in his backyard and gave the snake a nice memorial plaque

#5

Original: His 5 de Mayo party starts on the 8th of March

Ours: His 5 de Mayo party starts after he’s made arrangements with his professional pet sitter, not the kid next door

#6

Original: His feet don’t get blisters, but his shoes do

Ours: His feet don’t get blisters but if you mess with one of his pets, you can be that cold bottle of Dos Equis that you’ll get blistered

#7

Original: He once went to the psychic, to warn her

Ours: He once went to the psychic, to see if she could help him find his dog that escaped from his yard

#8

Original: If he were to punch you in the face you would have to fight off a strong urge to thank him

Ours: If he were to punch you in the face it would be because you’re an idiot and you keep pimping out your dog and cat for profit, instead of spaying and neutering like a responsible pet parent

#9

Original: Whatever side of the tracks he’s currently on is the right side, even if he crosses the tracks he’ll still be on the right side

Ours: Whatever side of the tracks he’s currently on, he’ll cross it if he sees an animal in need

#10

Original: He can speak Russian… in French

Ours: He can speak dog…and they listen

#11

Original: Superman has pijamas with his logo

Ours: TurboRoo has pajamas with his logo

#12

Original: His tears can cure cancer, too bad he never cries

Ours: His tears can cure cancer, he’s been known to shed a few on his pets when they’ve been diagnosed with lymphoma and bladder cancer

#13

Original: The circus ran away to join him

Ours: The circus animals ran away to join him because they were tired of being abused and forced to do stupid tricks for human pleasure

#14

Original: Bear hugs are what he gives bears

Ours: Bear hugs are what he gives the sweet bears after he’s finished volunteering at a sanctuary that rescues dancing bears from the streets of India

#15

Original: He once brought a knife to a gunfight… just to even the odds

Ours: He once brought a knife to a gunfight…just to even the odds and show the dog fighters that real men can take the battle up close, guns – and forcing dogs to fight – is for puss e’s

#16

Original: When he meets the Pope, the Pope kisses his ring

Ours: When he meets the Pope, the Pope kisses his dog and tells him to “sit’ and “shake”

#17

Original: He has never waited 15 minutes after finishing a meal before returning to the pool

Ours: He has never waited 15 minutes after finishing a meal before returning to the pool because his Labrador always lures him back into the water to play

Click this to read 100 of the most interesting man in the world quotes.

All joking aside, we wish Jonathan Goldsmith, the most interesting man in the world, the best in retirement and would love if he did take up the plight of helping to advocate for animals.

When I’m not on the computer I’m walking a dog,

Kelley Stewart, CEO|Pet Sitter
sit-stay-play In-home pet sitting & more.LLC
“Your pet sitting, dog walking, poop scooping specialists!”
Serving Muncie, Anderson and Indianapolis, Indiana areas

most interesting man in the world